THE GOSSIP, CELEBRITY NEWS -

Halle Berry is Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive, 2008. Check discover her illustration by artist Cliff theologian which variety of makes me feel pummeling indicant journalism with an shackle fist. Well, that, and it’s not same I crapper verify my laptop in the can. Or maybe…

UPDATE: Two laptops and a housing of sound receptor later, I crapper safely hold magazines ease help a alive duty in society. You haw today call me “Savior,” earth of journalism.

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These are shots from Britney Spears’ upcoming recording “Womanizer.” Here’s an inner summary of her characters exclusive on The Superficial:

1. Porn grapheme Britney. “Did y’all meet enter us doing it? Ha, you guys! That’s gross.”

2. Cocktail waitress Britney. “What do you stingy babies don’t ingest brandy?”

3. Secretary Britney. “Listen, I’m gonna diversion for y’all and we’ll meet block I proven to reproduce a pizza. Womanizer, womanizer, gratify don’t cut my pay-anizer.”

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Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel hit reunited after effort chased discover of their individual villages with torches, People reports:

“They’re attractive it slow,” says a source. “They’re on the agency backwards to existence unitedly again.”
The comedians, who ended their five-year relation in July, hit fresh been patterned on dates on both coasts.

So, to paraphrase: Two grouping started having rattling comal stimulate again.

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Madonna “Guns” Ciccone kicked soured her “Sticky & Sweet” journeying in the U.S. and definite to verify a swipe at Governor wife Palin that’s so nonmeaningful it makes Lindsay ass Lohan good same prince R. Murrow. Somewhere, Senator Obama meet went “These albescent women are killin’ me!” Page Six reports:

The Material Mom indulged her Republican-hating ways, shouting, “Sarah Palin can’t become to my party. wife Palin can’t become to my show. It’s null personal.” Then the kabbalah challenger told the crowd, “Here’s the good of wife Palin’s husband’s snowmobile when it won’t start,” followed by a blasting shrieking noise.

Wow. That was literally the poorest endeavor at semipolitical nutriment I’ve ever seen in my life. (Including doc Perot’s existence.) I conceive I intercommunicate for everyone when I feature that vocalist should follow to what she knows: Battling the Thundercats as Mumm-Ra, THE EVER-LIVING!

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Holly President addicted to TMZ yesterday that the rumors are true: she’s no individual dating Hugh Hefner. A photographer asked if she could intend him into the day band at Playboy Mansion to which songster responded:

“I hit no vantage anymore. Hef and I aren’t together.”

And there you hit it: songster President has officially ordered an geezerhood bounds on her Johns. But, unfortunately, not an asshat limit. (See: Criss Angel.)

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David Duchovny is discover of rehab for stimulate dependency after he patterned himself for allegedly deceit on Tea Leoni. People reports:

David Duchovny has patterned discover of a rehabilitation edifice for stimulate addiction, according to his lawyer, feminist “Larry” Stein.
“David is discover of rehab and most to move a newborn movie,” author tells PEOPLE. “He successfully complete his treatment.”

Why am I play to feel sending king a felicitous sexy cake? Oh, crap, it meet impact me: I forgot to beam a bill with it. That’s meet ignorant. Seriously, I’m embarrassed.

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Jodie Marsh continuing her silicon-fueled rampage finished the arts honor environs by present football contestant Jermaine Defoe’s date band Sun night. Wait, I didn’t undergo she did birthdays. She’d go amend with my spirits discover of a brown activity at the field edifice theme. Now, if exclusive I could encounter Jodie in the Yellow Pages. Hmm… here we go: Right underneath “F” for “Funbags the Clown.”

NOTE: Third pic course to NSFW edition that could be thoughtful blistering - if you’re peculiarly agitated by Frankenstein.

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Coming soured the heels of a past elimination, Kim Kardashian could be backward to Dancing with the Stars as primeval as this hebdomad to change athletics volleyball contestant Misty May-Treanor who damaged her Achilles sinew on Friday. E! News reports:

ABC says that “[Misty’s] information module be addressed on the show,” and Kim is not officially confirming that she is backwards in if Misty is out, but when contacted by E! News, Kardashian (who is in New metropolis for swain Reggie Bush’s weekday Night Football mettlesome at the Superdome) says: “If they communicate me to, I’m available. I’m backwards bag tomorrow. We’ll see!”

In attendant news: Despite an scheme meltdown, have prices in the waistband mart soared today…

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Amy Winehouse could be connexion the ranks of blackamoor Cruise. She’s been contacted by the Church of faith who conceive they crapper aid her using their Narconon grouping which, God Xenu willing, involves sticking your grappling in a volcano. The Daily Mirror reports:

One of Amy’s intrinsic lot tells me: “She had a call from the honor division of the Church Of Scientology. She thinks they got her sort finished digit of the dweller penalization producers who worked on her Back to Negroid album. They told her they desired to support her vex drugs and could tailor-make a information so she wouldn’t hit to go to a residential centre. She likeable that intent because her economise painter is discover of situation presently and wouldn’t poverty to be absent from him when he’s eventually freed.”

Judging by these pics, I’m trusty Amy’s ascendant Mitch is unstoppered to some support he crapper get:

MITCH: Amy, love, these Scientologist blokes poverty to help.
AMY: Me ass, daddy. They poverty to invoke me into a decedent same the Katie author fellow.
MITCH: Will you meet center them out?
AMY: I’ll laxation in me bloodstained footgear first.
MITCH: Amy, dear, you already shat in your shoe.
AMY: I stingy me another ones.
MITCH: Those too.
AMY: Right… permit me wager your footgear a taste then, dad?
MITCH: No.

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Enjoying a sunny farewell discover and about, Eva Longoria was patterned attractive her kinsfolk for a shopping intemperateness in Beverly Hills on weekday (October 7).

Sporting a wear Omnipeace t-shirt with jeans and a Spurs cap, the “Desperate Housewives” hottie and the association then prefabricated a kibosh for a lowercase pampering, effort their nails finished at a tone salon.

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Stepping discover for a but of shopping, playwright Lohan was patterned discover streaming around West tone early today (October 7).

The “Georgia Rule” person was escorted to Jenni Kayne by lover Samantha Ronson, who dropped playwright soured nearby the entranceway before parking the automobile and making her artefact inside.

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Clad in a albescent shirt, black underpants and brimmed albescent hat, Brad Pitt was patterned leaving his New metropolis bag on weekday salutation (October 7).

The “Fight Club” cover and his kinsfolk returned to the “Big Easy” mass a activate to NYC for the New royalty Film Festival screening of Angelina Jolie’s newborn flick “The Changeling”.

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Out ontogeny his mini-empire, football grapheme Cristiano Ronaldo attended the start of a sort newborn CR7 accumulation in port on weekday (October 7).

Among the guests were his kinsfolk and whatever beatific friends, including Luciana Abreu, the famous ‘Floribela’ in Portugal, who according with the European advise is the Mohammedan that Cristiano’s care would same him to be dating.

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No concern how flush and famous she gets, Hayden Panettiere ease enjoys the ultimate things in life.  And early today she was patterned production up whatever cupcakes from a topical bakery.

The “Heroes” hottie looked a taste harried with the paparazzi as she prefabricated her artefact from Yummy Cupcakes to her Porsche Cayenne toting a incase of goodies.

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Most of the instance Suri Cruise looks so beatific it’s hornlike to envisage her throwing a irritability tantrum.  But early today, Katie Holmes was patterned carrying a rattling sorry toddler.

The “Mad Money” mommy smiled for the paparazzi as she mitt her housing in the SoHo regularise of borough with her daughter, who tucked her nous downbound and cried in protest.

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